I wonder all the time why I bother writing a blog. I’m inconsistent, negligent, and most of my observations are, on some level, just me complaining. I talk about productivity but get nothing done. I talk about motivation but can barely get out of bed. I talk about mental health and sobriety when both are…
Author: timpangburn
How do we overcome obstacles?
I’m in a slump. Somewhere inside, I’d like to get things done, and make progress on goals, but outside I’m coated with a general malaise. It’s part depression, part pandemic, and part disruptions in my medication. Basically, I’m all fucked up. I don’t know what to do about it. Normally when I get stuck, I…
You’re out of control, baby!
Who had plans for 2020? I know I did. BIG plans, too. You know what I did with those plans? Threw them in the shitter. Covid-19 hijacked any plans we made. By late March, I had already begun shoving things to the back burner. Now, I’m not even sure where the stove is. I’m not…
O beautiful for spacious skies
I take five different antidepressants and mood stabilizers to keep me in check. Without them, I have little control over mood swings, and the depths of depression are unpredictable. Some of them I’ve been on for more than 5 years, some for less than a year. They all serve a specific purpose. Recently, I had…
Artist? More like FARTist (shut up, I’m not feeling very clever)
Art is trash. No, seriously. Art is just refuse blowing in the wind. Painting, sculpture, music: trash. I think the world could do without a lot of it, and in some cases, it might be better off. I don’t know how old I was the first time I went to a museum, but my first…
My decision to stop working amidst the pandemic
Millions of people have been unemployed since March, struggling to make ends meet and fearful for the day their benefits run out. Government response with assistance has been underwhelming, to put it mildly. A one time $1200 payout, $600 a week that ran out quickly, and unemployment benefits, which have a cap. I was out…
Reckoning with your generation
When you hear “sex, drugs, and rock and roll,” you generally think of rockstars and groupies, big parties backstage. Led Zeppelin and a fish. You don’t usually think lonely jaded teenagers trying to escape the pain of life. But the 90’s was a fucked up time, in hindsight. I spent a lot of time chasing…
Morning headaches
Addicts are addicts. It really can’t be helped, and when an addict finally kicks their drug of choice, they find other addictive outlets. Hollywood has it right when they show an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and everyone is drinking huge amounts of coffee and chain smoking. My caffeine intake easily doubled after quitting, and my three…
Episodes
No, not the season premier of the Mandalorian, I mean mental health episodes. See, my entire day has been a mental health episode. From the moment I woke up until the time I’m writing this, and I’m sure until the time I lay down to sleep. Some days are like that. I can only hope…
Artists don’t get the praise they deserve
Artists pour their lives into their craft. They spend endless hours honing and sharpening skills that are particular and specific. Once their work is presented to the public through social media, they’re snubbed and receive little attention or appreciation for the time and effort they spent creating their masterpiece. AAAAAND I don’t give a shit….