I take five different antidepressants and mood stabilizers to keep me in check. Without them, I have little control over mood swings, and the depths of depression are unpredictable. Some of them I’ve been on for more than 5 years, some for less than a year. They all serve a specific purpose. Recently, I had…
Author: timpangburn
Artist? More like FARTist (shut up, I’m not feeling very clever)
Art is trash. No, seriously. Art is just refuse blowing in the wind. Painting, sculpture, music: trash. I think the world could do without a lot of it, and in some cases, it might be better off. I don’t know how old I was the first time I went to a museum, but my first…
My decision to stop working amidst the pandemic
Millions of people have been unemployed since March, struggling to make ends meet and fearful for the day their benefits run out. Government response with assistance has been underwhelming, to put it mildly. A one time $1200 payout, $600 a week that ran out quickly, and unemployment benefits, which have a cap. I was out…
Reckoning with your generation
When you hear “sex, drugs, and rock and roll,” you generally think of rockstars and groupies, big parties backstage. Led Zeppelin and a fish. You don’t usually think lonely jaded teenagers trying to escape the pain of life. But the 90’s was a fucked up time, in hindsight. I spent a lot of time chasing…
Morning headaches
Addicts are addicts. It really can’t be helped, and when an addict finally kicks their drug of choice, they find other addictive outlets. Hollywood has it right when they show an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and everyone is drinking huge amounts of coffee and chain smoking. My caffeine intake easily doubled after quitting, and my three…
Episodes
No, not the season premier of the Mandalorian, I mean mental health episodes. See, my entire day has been a mental health episode. From the moment I woke up until the time I’m writing this, and I’m sure until the time I lay down to sleep. Some days are like that. I can only hope…
Artists don’t get the praise they deserve
Artists pour their lives into their craft. They spend endless hours honing and sharpening skills that are particular and specific. Once their work is presented to the public through social media, they’re snubbed and receive little attention or appreciation for the time and effort they spent creating their masterpiece. AAAAAND I don’t give a shit….
Organize your thoughts: Set goals from chaos
Whenever there’s a lull between posts, it’s not because I have nothing to say. It’s usually because I have too much to say. So much that I can’t put the thoughts in order. I’m unable to focus on one thing long enough to formulate the words into coherent sentences, then spew them out in blog…
Monachopsis
I’ve been learning a lot of strange new words for strange intangible feelings. Mostly because I experience a lot of strange intangible feelings, and without words to name them, I feel lost. Sure, I could jump into how words are cages, and pigeonholing emotions and states of mind is faulty guesswork, but I think in…
You’re not unhappy with your life, you’re unhappy with yourself
It dawns on me quite often that there’s aspects of my life I’m not happy with. That’s not to say I don’t have a good life, or that I would trade it, but there’s always something we would change if we could. The thing is, we can, we just don’t. So those aspects I see…