I know I’m fucked up. I know I do things that are hurtful, and that I change my mind often and drastically. I know my moods shift rapidly and unpredictably. My mental illness isn’t a separate entity, it is a defining factor in my personality. There is no depressed Tim, manic Tim, and normal Tim….
Author: timpangburn
Will you cast the first stone?
In the Bible, in the gospel of John, the Pharisees brought a woman charged with adultery to Jesus as an attempt to discredit him. They asked him to be the judge, and under Mosaic law, her punishment was stoning. In a crazy twist, Jesus said “let he who is without sin cast the first stone”…
You’re worth it. No, really.
Oh, if I had a dime for every time I felt worthless, I’d have a shitload of dimes. It goes hand in hand with mental illness, it goes hand in hand with being an artist. Me being a mentally ill artist doubles my worthlessness! But that’s nonsense. I know I’m not worthless. It’s just the…
Consider me Miles Davis
In 1985, I was a a first grade student at St. Mary’s Catholic school in Salem, New Jersey. I had started partway into the year, having been homeschooled for about a year after my extended chicken pox absence from public kindergarten. My parents felt that catholic school provided a good education and, even though they…
Less than spectacular: overcoming insecurity through a growth mindset
Here I am, less than spectacular. I’m 42, and I’ve gotten wide round the middle. I have bad teeth, and the salt and pepper forming in my hair looks more dirty than sexy. I have some sort of dry skin thing on my knees and elbows. I’m less than spectacular. While being less than spectacular,…
Story time!
I don’t actually have a story to tell. This post isn’t about a story that happened to me or somebody else, it’s about the story we tell through our actions and words. Everyone has a story. And again, I don’t mean about the time they went to the strip club and that thing happened with…
Wait, what was I supposed to do?
My brain is such an asshole sometimes. Information comes in and disappears so fast, I feel like Guy Pearce in Memento. I need to write things down within 10, maybe 15 seconds or they disappear. So here I am, writing a blog post while I know I’m supposed to be doing something else, but I…
What I learned from 30 days in Facebook jail
This story is a little more complicated than the title implies. See, I wasn’t just thrown in Facebook jail for bad behavior, I got phished. My dumb ass clicked a link without checking the email address first, and just handed all my shit over to some hacker. And the details of my sentence weren’t as…
I got hacked!
Like an absolute dumbass, I got duped by a phishing scam and lost my Facebook AND Instagram accounts. While I still continue the appeal process, I’m also not holding my breath. So I’ve started a new Instagram! If you really love me, you’ll give me a shoutout and share my new profile so others know…
Worn down
I try to wax poetic, but I don’t think I’ve had enough coffee. Maybe it’s lack of coffee, maybe it’s a lack of motivation, but it doesn’t really matter because the results are the same. I just can’t put together anything more than a regular ol sentence. This has been going on for weeks, and…