Depression is an odd bedmate. It weaves its fingers through your life in imperceptible ways, often presenting subtly. The common misconception is that depression is misery, where the darkness is so deep that you can’t move, and can’t get out of bed. That is depression in its most severe, but it’s so much more nuanced…
Author: timpangburn
I know I talk a lot about bipolar, but hey, I’m bipolar
Something that even people with bipolar disorder often don’t understand is that medication doesn’t fix you. There is no cure. There is no remission. There is only management, and as with managing absolutely anything, good and bad will come and go. Such is the life of being bipolar. Medication reels in episodes and lessens symptoms,…
I have writer’s block.
I don’t always know what to write when I sit down to do this. A commitment has been made, though, and I know it comes as I go. It’s funny how creativity strikes. Sometimes it doesn’t strike like a hammer, or a match, but a small push from behind. When that happens, we can only…
Take the blame
People have a tendency to shift blame. I mean it’s easy, especially when an external circumstance seemingly causes a failure of some sort. Can’t control the weather, right? Of course not, but you can still carry an umbrella. What we’re talking about is ownership and course correcting. Every person in every business does this (or…
What business books won’t teach you
You know what they don’t teach you in business books? How to do this shit with a mental disorder. Business books are designed to teach normal people how to run businesses successfully. I’m bipolar 2 and have ADHD. I can barely shower successfully sometimes. Yet somehow here I am running a business with two locations….
I guess I’m a content creator
When you’re an artist, you don’t normally set out to be a content creator. You’re just trying to make shit. I just want to draw and paint and do tattoos. Blogging isn’t the first thing on my mind, and neither is making reels for instagram. Yet here I am, 43 years old and trying to…
Loneliness as a way of life
First off, this isn’t a pity piece. If anything, it’s an attempt at self empowerment. It’s taking a shot at owning a feeling that’s been enthroned in my subconscious since my earliest childhood memories. Not because I wasn’t loved, or cared for, or given affection; but because at the core, it’s part of who I…
The mountains stretch for miles
When you manage mental illness, you have to learn to separate the emotions of the illness from who you truly are. The sadness isn’t you, the chaos isn’t you, it’s all symptomatic if the illness. You have no choice but to experience it, but you can block it off. Compartmentalization is your friend. You have…
I have mental Illinois
Remember that time I decided I’d post a blog every Saturday? That was two Saturdays ago and I already missed the second one. I guess that’s just life with ADHD, right? Or bipolar disorder. Sometimes symptoms overlap so much I can’t tell the difference. What I do know is that both of them provide me…
Return of the Mack
My blog turned into shit. I used to use it, but man it is nothing now. Being bipolar sucks. See, I used to be relatively consistent. I use the word “relatively” pretty loosely. I wrote, I aimed for self improvement, I tried my best to inspire others to the same. Problem is, my life fell…