Human
Oh, if I had a dime for every time I felt worthless, I’d have a shitload of dimes. It goes hand in hand with mental illness, it goes hand in hand with being an artist. Me being a mentally ill artist doubles my worthlessness! But that’s nonsense. I know I’m not worthless. It’s just the […]
In 1985, I was a a first grade student at St. Mary’s Catholic school in Salem, New Jersey. I had started partway into the year, having been homeschooled for about a year after my extended chicken pox absence from public kindergarten. My parents felt that catholic school provided a good education and, even though they […]
Here I am, less than spectacular. I’m 42, and I’ve gotten wide round the middle. I have bad teeth, and the salt and pepper forming in my hair looks more dirty than sexy. I have some sort of dry skin thing on my knees and elbows. I’m less than spectacular. While being less than spectacular, […]
I try to wax poetic, but I don’t think I’ve had enough coffee. Maybe it’s lack of coffee, maybe it’s a lack of motivation, but it doesn’t really matter because the results are the same. I just can’t put together anything more than a regular ol sentence. This has been going on for weeks, and […]
I’m in a shifting landscape. We all are. I don’t know if anyone realizes the weight or extent the past year’s events, but I know it’s all going to come home. Our news cycle happens so damn fast, that it’s impossible to keep up. There’s riots in the capital. COVID-19 has killed more than 375,000 […]
I’m in a slump. Somewhere inside, I’d like to get things done, and make progress on goals, but outside I’m coated with a general malaise. It’s part depression, part pandemic, and part disruptions in my medication. Basically, I’m all fucked up. I don’t know what to do about it. Normally when I get stuck, I […]
Who had plans for 2020? I know I did. BIG plans, too. You know what I did with those plans? Threw them in the shitter. Covid-19 hijacked any plans we made. By late March, I had already begun shoving things to the back burner. Now, I’m not even sure where the stove is. I’m not […]
I take five different antidepressants and mood stabilizers to keep me in check. Without them, I have little control over mood swings, and the depths of depression are unpredictable. Some of them I’ve been on for more than 5 years, some for less than a year. They all serve a specific purpose. Recently, I had […]
No, not the season premier of the Mandalorian, I mean mental health episodes. See, my entire day has been a mental health episode. From the moment I woke up until the time I’m writing this, and I’m sure until the time I lay down to sleep. Some days are like that. I can only hope […]
Winners never quit and quitters never win, right? No, that’s not it. That’s not it at all. Very often, winning absolutely hinges on quitting. Quitting bad habits. Quitting to settle for less. Quitting your addiction to mediocrity. This isn’t a feel good piece. This isn’t something to fill you with hope, and fuzzy feelings. About […]