I’m in a slump. Somewhere inside, I’d like to get things done, and make progress on goals, but outside I’m coated with a general malaise. It’s part depression, part pandemic, and part disruptions in my medication. Basically, I’m all fucked up. I don’t know what to do about it. Normally when I get stuck, I…
Tag: acceptance
You’re out of control, baby!
Who had plans for 2020? I know I did. BIG plans, too. You know what I did with those plans? Threw them in the shitter. Covid-19 hijacked any plans we made. By late March, I had already begun shoving things to the back burner. Now, I’m not even sure where the stove is. I’m not…
O beautiful for spacious skies
I take five different antidepressants and mood stabilizers to keep me in check. Without them, I have little control over mood swings, and the depths of depression are unpredictable. Some of them I’ve been on for more than 5 years, some for less than a year. They all serve a specific purpose. Recently, I had…
Morning headaches
Addicts are addicts. It really can’t be helped, and when an addict finally kicks their drug of choice, they find other addictive outlets. Hollywood has it right when they show an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and everyone is drinking huge amounts of coffee and chain smoking. My caffeine intake easily doubled after quitting, and my three…
Episodes
No, not the season premier of the Mandalorian, I mean mental health episodes. See, my entire day has been a mental health episode. From the moment I woke up until the time I’m writing this, and I’m sure until the time I lay down to sleep. Some days are like that. I can only hope…
Why you can’t give up
Winners never quit and quitters never win, right? No, that’s not it. That’s not it at all. Very often, winning absolutely hinges on quitting. Quitting bad habits. Quitting to settle for less. Quitting your addiction to mediocrity. This isn’t a feel good piece. This isn’t something to fill you with hope, and fuzzy feelings. About…
Red in tooth and claw
We live in a society that boasts self mastery and ascension as part of the whole person. Our triumph over our animal nature is available in a 3 week course. If we attend the right seminars and successfully perform the exercises in our “best you” workbook, surely we will be an enlightened creature who can…
Wolves in wolves clothing
I’m restless, yet I refuse to get off my ass. I have a hundred things to do, yet I refuse to get off my ass. I have time sensitive matters to attend to, yet, you guessed it, I refuse to get off my ass. When I was younger, sitting on my ass and playing video…
You’re Depressed, and I Understand
I’ll go ahead and get this part out of the way real fast. I’m moody. Like, strings of medication moody. I don’t tolerate crowds, socializing, or stupidity very well. I’m quick to point out the downside of everything. I’m a 100% natural born, certified grouch. If you know me, then you know what I’m going…
Sifting chaos
We crash and collide with objects in our paths, endlessly bustling through our seemingly random lives. We’re ants criss crossing the same worn down trails, following the ant in front of us, to an end we barely acknowledge, much less understand. We build, we breed, we increase our footprint on this chunk of rock hurtling…