Depression is an odd bedmate. It weaves its fingers through your life in imperceptible ways, often presenting subtly. The common misconception is that depression is misery, where the darkness is so deep that you can’t move, and can’t get out of bed. That is depression in its most severe, but it’s so much more nuanced…
Tag: depression
I know I talk a lot about bipolar, but hey, I’m bipolar
Something that even people with bipolar disorder often don’t understand is that medication doesn’t fix you. There is no cure. There is no remission. There is only management, and as with managing absolutely anything, good and bad will come and go. Such is the life of being bipolar. Medication reels in episodes and lessens symptoms,…
Am I the tree or the building?
I’ve been learning a lot lately about what it means to be bipolar. There’s a lot of character traits I possess that I never realized were symptoms. There’s also a lot of symptoms I didn’t realize I possessed as character traits. For example, when hypomanic, bipolar people tend to have increased confidence, often to the…
What’s next for the self employed artist
I’m in a shifting landscape. We all are. I don’t know if anyone realizes the weight or extent the past year’s events, but I know it’s all going to come home. Our news cycle happens so damn fast, that it’s impossible to keep up. There’s riots in the capital. COVID-19 has killed more than 375,000…
How do we overcome obstacles?
I’m in a slump. Somewhere inside, I’d like to get things done, and make progress on goals, but outside I’m coated with a general malaise. It’s part depression, part pandemic, and part disruptions in my medication. Basically, I’m all fucked up. I don’t know what to do about it. Normally when I get stuck, I…
O beautiful for spacious skies
I take five different antidepressants and mood stabilizers to keep me in check. Without them, I have little control over mood swings, and the depths of depression are unpredictable. Some of them I’ve been on for more than 5 years, some for less than a year. They all serve a specific purpose. Recently, I had…
Reckoning with your generation
When you hear “sex, drugs, and rock and roll,” you generally think of rockstars and groupies, big parties backstage. Led Zeppelin and a fish. You don’t usually think lonely jaded teenagers trying to escape the pain of life. But the 90’s was a fucked up time, in hindsight. I spent a lot of time chasing…
Episodes
No, not the season premier of the Mandalorian, I mean mental health episodes. See, my entire day has been a mental health episode. From the moment I woke up until the time I’m writing this, and I’m sure until the time I lay down to sleep. Some days are like that. I can only hope…
Wolves in wolves clothing
I’m restless, yet I refuse to get off my ass. I have a hundred things to do, yet I refuse to get off my ass. I have time sensitive matters to attend to, yet, you guessed it, I refuse to get off my ass. When I was younger, sitting on my ass and playing video…
You’re Depressed, and I Understand
I’ll go ahead and get this part out of the way real fast. I’m moody. Like, strings of medication moody. I don’t tolerate crowds, socializing, or stupidity very well. I’m quick to point out the downside of everything. I’m a 100% natural born, certified grouch. If you know me, then you know what I’m going…